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“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” Romans 7:15

It was our anniversary, and I had determined it would be a good day, avoiding silly disagreements and not insisting on my way.  But already, the old attitude was finding its lofty place.  I wanted romance, unpredictability, and my husband to just come up with the surprise without my communication. He’s a practical guy, and he just doesn’t think that way, especially since he’s tried in the past to surprise me, but it somehow didn’t meet my expectations.  But this time I was without excuse. We had planned to spend time on the Sanibel Causeway, just sitting on the beach during early morning,  and then find a restaurant there and go to lunch. But I had insisted on having an egg biscuit at McDonald’s and an iced coffee for breakfast, which of course ruined my appetite.  When it was time to have lunch, I just wasn’t hungry and decided maybe we could do some shopping first. Since my husband cannot read my mind, he went to a shop I immediately rejected.  Then we went back and forth on where to eat lunch, and finally decided on Pinchers, a restaurant we liked, but off the island.  Finally, my husband said, ” Is this ok with you?”, which it wasn’t, I had someplace else in mind I wanted to go later that day.  Then it happened, that old, stale, resentful attitude was springing up, identified as gross self-centeredness. But this time, I knew the signs and asked the Lord to help me get over it.  And so, I resisted the flesh and had a wonderful time with the one I love on a beautiful day.
Thank You, Lord, you always offer a way of escape whenever I ask for your help!
(1 Corinthians 10:13)

This reminds me of Cain, who God warned to get a handle on his anger or it would spiral into something worse. But Cain ignored the warning and killed his brother, Seth.  I wasn’t going to end up murdering my spouse, but it would have ruined our day and maybe the next.  So as I am learning, I need to take captive every thought that rears its ugly head. I am also learning how it results in the abundant life Jesus promised. It’s so much better this way. (2 Corinthians 10:3-5, John 10:10)

Lord, thank you for your Word, full of examples and warnings that convict us of your truth and protect us from the evil one. Surely, your Word is a lamp to our feet and a bright light to your path of righteousness, that you provide for our sakes and yours.  (Psalm 119:105)